Meditations of an Archaic Soul
Life can feel forced. Just being doesn’t seem like enough. Space and boundaries have lost their value. Relational expectations have become insensitive and demanding thanks to an overly connected world. Respond now, answer the call and email. “ You always have your phone, so I know you can respond immediately or at least when I expect you to based on how I assess your day flow.” Silence is secondary. Privacy is a luxury. Solitude is selfish. All the while, constant babble, invasion, advertising, and meeting demands from people in a “timely fashion” is primary. The thought of this alone is inhumane. This way of life is sacrilege.
I hate this age. I hate this culture. I used the word hate consciously. It is not a place for creativity and wisdom to thrive, at least not for those of us with massive inner worlds. This is upside-down land, where the sky is not where it belongs. What is organically sacred is now an inconvenience. There is no respect for those who value space, who enjoy silence.
I must be a soul from an age that thrived in solitude, an era where there was space to explore your inner world and have a rich experience when you collide with another. I do not belong here, yet here I am. I struggle with the demand for friendships that need constant updates and interaction. I get anxious every time my phone rings.
My screen is cracked on my iPhone and has been for some time, simply because I hate that I have to live through it. It’s my subtle way to say fuck you. I am allowing you and your minions too much influence on my life. No more. If this world cannot understand my distance, my infrequent need for light and water, then I will be left alone like the snake plant.
I’m jealous of the snake plant; people accept that it doesn’t need much light and water, yet they love it anyway. It doesn’t have to talk, respond, or receive a ton of attention….it gets just enough, and that’s all it needs. Overwatering kills plants. Humans have the same cellular structure as plants. I must be similar to the common ancestor because this overwatering of attention and content is killing me. I will not let it. I will be who I am, regardless of who others are. Respectful and receptive, but not a passive martyr.
Die for what you believe in, not for what others think you should believe. God is as close to you as to anyone else.
