3 Signs Your Loneliness Is Evidence of Your Personal Growth
Despite the epidemic of loneliness that has spread throughout the many hearts of millennials across the country. What many of us are actually facing during the dark moments where we feel we lack authentic connections is the result of growth. When we expand our minds and mature as humans, we naturally begin to change. Perception is reality; as our perceptions change, so does our reality. But like anything in life, there is a process with this transition.
There is a time when you begin to separate from your past in route to something greater; this time is dark. You walk through a door where you have never been, but it's exciting because it’s a new rich experience. You are learning more about the world within you and the world around you, which often makes us less relatable to old friends and family. We feel like they can no longer understand us, and if we are sincere, we no longer desire to be around them. Their presence only gives us doses of nostalgia, but overall our experiences with them become dull. This is not negative, nor does this happen to everyone. Sometimes we have people in our lives who never stop growing, but unfortunately, the vast majority only tend to grow in age and worldly responsibilities, nothing more.
In this part of our lives, we feel lonely because we are leaving our old life behind but have not fully stepped into the new one. This ledge that so many people refuse to jump and go on living limited and unfulfilled lives. They fear that the darkness below the ledge is an abyss, but it's not. In fact, it’s not a ledge at all; that’s an illusion. Beyond the shadow is a ladder that leads to the next level. You only know this if you have taken that step, and you have to do it alone.
At birth, you were alone, and your rebirth will be the same way. Thus the feelings of loneliness increase, as they should. This isn’t bad. You feel lonely because you are becoming something better, the real you. Below are 3 Signs that your loneliness is a result of your growth.
1. You have Outgrown Current Social Circle
When you developed your current social circle, you were in a different mental space. Since your awakening, many things that were once of interest to you have become monotonous. So you begin to spend time exploring new things of interest that your old circle can’t relate to, causing those relationships to become unfulfilling.
Those associates know and relate to who you were, not who you are becoming. Now you crave new connections going in the same direction that you are and will feed your curiosities. Before you can make a switch, there is a transition phase where you feel lonely because you desire to have fresh, authentic relationships with people who help you continue to expand. At this point, it feels lonely, but it is only apart of our journey to discovering who we are on the deepest level. We have to make space for those who will help us pursue our dreams if we prefer fulfillment over comfort.
2. You Prefer Solitude
Solitude has never been more valuable than it is today. We spend too much time immersed in others' thoughts and opinions, drowning out our own inner voice. By arranging some time to be alone with our thoughts and feelings, we can think more critically about what we want to do with our time.
You desire to do this more often when you become more intimate with the things that make you unique or have set your sight on a mighty task you want to accomplish. This will cause you to create distance from others because you realize you need space to define where you want to take your life next. Solitude requires us to separate, but this doesn’t make us lonely. A desire for old comforts can creep in and make you believe your desire for solitude is negative, but it's not. It is a sign that you are focusing on what truly matters to you.
“Conversation enriches the understanding, but solitude is the school of genius.”
-Sir Edward Gibbon
3. Your Life Becomes More Meaningful
As we grow, our quest for meaning intensifies. We explore fresh content and engage in new experiences to refine our understanding of our life purpose. Naturally, we become more selective about how we invest our time, and if we are courageous enough, we do those things alone. We patronize a new restaurant, take a solo trip, or pursue a new hobby, all within the context of purpose. As a result, when we face challenges that we have to deal with ourselves, they now have a framework of meaning instead of feeling like a stray bullet of circumstance. Victor Frankl said it best in Man’s Search For Meaning:
“Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.”
Being alone does not mean you are lonely. Even when we do feel lonely, which is inevitable as we exit our comfort zone, we have to remember that it is temporary and for a worthy cause.
